breakfastkingdompubliclibrary:
“Fionna and Cake: I Remember You,” Parts 1 and 2 by RavenBlood1011
This is why I shouldn’t be left alone for more than ten minutes.
Why is this even getting notes.
WAIT WHY IS KARKAT STILL GREY?
Equius looks normal.
ERIDAN IS REALLY CREEPY HE BLENDS IN WITH THINGS AND AH
I got a bag of googles eyes.
cal looks practically the same
keep adventuring and stay not a grown-up!
Peter. Fucking. Pan.
I love this boy.
(Source: johndarlings)
Just a friendly reminder that animals will FUCKING KILL YOU given the chance.
Fuck yeah
That last one’s a manatee are you seriously suggesting that a manatee would try to kill you because they won’t, they’ll just flot next to you and hug you and make you a cup of tea.
themoripartydontstarttilliwalkin:
DON’T MAKE ME WHIP MY SCARF OFF IN A Z-FORMATION
DEDUCTION SENSATION
ACROSS THE BRITISH NATION
(Source: vulcansembracetechnicality)
why does mcdonalds even need commercials
well how else are you supposed to know when the mcrib is back
(Source: follower)
when i draw in my sketchbook
when i draw on notes in class
(Source: pyrop)
DIDN’T GET YOUR PARTNER A VALENTINE?
UNDERSTANDABLE, BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY BEING A SEXY BASTARD AND SAVING THE WORLD OR SOME SHIT.
NOW RINSE THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS AND GRAB SOME SHIT FROM THE STORE, BECAUSE EVERY ASSHOLE DESERVES SOME ROMANTIC CRAP ONCE IN A WHILE.
AFTER YOU RESTOCK YOUR SILVER BULLETS, SALT AND STITCH TOGETHER YOUR OWN WOUNDS LIKE A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER, BUY SOME RASPBERRIES AND THREE TYPES OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS.
WHY THREE?
VARIETY, ASSHOLE! IT MAKES YOU LOOK CLASSY, LIKE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED, INSTEAD OF WHIPPING TOGETHER SOME BULLSHIT AT THE LAST MINUTE LIKE A FORGETFUL BITCH.
SO GET YOUR MILK CHOCOLATE, WHITE CHOCOLATE AND DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS. TRAVEL INTO THE WILDS AND COLLECT ONLY THE PUREST AND MOST SUCCULENT RASPBERRIES FOR THE PERSON OF YOUR AFFECTIONS.
OR MAYBE YOU’RE MAKING THIS TREAT FOR YOURSELF, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. SHUT THE HELL UP.
NOW DELICATELY PICK UP A RASPBERRY, ‘CAUSE THOSE ASSHOLES ARE EASY TO DAMAGE. REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUT TOGETHER AN ARC REACTOR IN A CAVE AND BE A GENTLE BASTARD AS YOU PUSH THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS INSIDE EACH RASPBERRY.
NOW PUT THE BOWL OF PERFECTION AND SHIT INTO THE FRIDGE OR FREEZER, DEPENDING ON HOW HARDCORE YOU ARE.
DON’T FORGET TO PRESENT THESE DELICIOUS LITTLE BASTARDS IN YOUR HAND-MADE SILVER CHALICE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A CLASSY ASSHOLE LIKE THAT.
On Monday, during a parliamentary commission hearing to determine if he was a fit for the top court, he was asked whether the death penalty should be applied in cases of rape. His response?
“Consideration needs to be taken thoroughly for the imposition of death penalty for a rapist because in a rape case both the rapist and the victim enjoy it.”
“NOPE” i scream from the top of Mt. Everest as i jump off and qwop into the fucking sun
(Source: vaspim)
you’ve got your olive oil
virgin olive oil
extra virgin olive oil
olive oil with a questionable past
sam:
bad news apple
now im wondering why the hell i didnt make this joke
those aren’t even bees though they’re fucking wasps
(Source: plastidecore)